Me: Hey, mom, are you watching the news?

Mom: Well, no, but your father is… hold on… HEY! ARE YOU WATCHING THE NEWS? JENNIFER’S ON THE PHONE, SHE WANTS TO KNOW!!!

Me: Mom, isn’t he in the next room?

Mom: Well, yes, but he’d got that darned tv turned up so loud…

Me: So loud that you can’t tell if he’s watching the news?

Mom: Hm. Well, I never thought of that. (Silence) Yes, yes, he’s watching the news.

Me: Good, can you ask him if there’s been a story about a car on fire on Bigelow?

Mom: What are you doing on Bigelow?

Me: Mom, what does it matter? Can you just ask him?

Mom: Well, no, I’m watching it… nothing about a car on fire. How about those storms today, though. Oh my… I was afraid to drive! It was terrible, just terrible…

Me: Mom. That’s great, I’m aware there were storms but right now there’s car on fire twenty feet in front of me, can you just see if it’s on the news?

Mom: Well, YOU’RE certainly crabby today…