A Fabulous Mess

     Ok, ok. I admit it. I was sucked into the whole Britney opening the VMAs thing and I have to say, I was pulling for her. Yes, she’s crazy, yes, I think she should lose her children or at least have supervised custody until she can prove herself a fit mother.

      Somewhere in me, I hoped she would rock this thing. I don’t know if I was expecting an “I’m a Slave 4 U” type performance, but there was a time when she was a headliner, a show stopper, and had the hottest little damn body I had ever seen.

     Not tonight. Tonight, she walked through her performance, didn’t even bother to lip sync at times, and, quite frankly, her beer belly jiggled. I know I have no room to talk as my beer belly would jiggle ten fold; however, I am not Britney Spears and I didn’t used to the the hottest little damn body I have ever seen. And I’m not going to let her have the excuse that she just had kids. First of all, I watched “Chaotic” and “Diary of Britney Spears” and I’ve seen that girl run on a treadmill and exercise. She could have gotten back to almost that by now. Second, with how fast celebrities lose weight after having kids, if she were serious about anything but getting her drink on and getting naked, she could have looked a hell of a lot better. And maybe not have had the double chin.

      The song was ok, I guess, I can imagine people dry humping to it at Tequila Willie’s. But the dancing. She didn’t even try. She basically walked from here to there and whipped around her extensions. And once some back up dancer touched her boobs.

     I was not impressed.

     Nor was I impressed by any of the performances I happened to catch.

     I hate that stupid “Umbrella” song, it is ridiculous.

     Ashlee Simpson’s boyfriend’s band looked like they were trying too hard to be emo.

     Alicia Keys is better sitting at a piano.

     Justin Timberlake should not be part of a crowd performing. He should be the center of attention.

     Sarah Silverman wasn’t all that entertaining. Although I loved when she said “Amy Winehouse isn’t Jewish? Someone should tell that to her face.”

     That about all I managed to catch. But it was enough to remind me why I stopped watching TRL and MTV and why it wasn’t such a sad day when B-94 went off the air all those years ago.

     I’ll stick to my Remy Zero and Snow Patrol CDs, the two I’ve been alternating between this week, thank you very much.

Trackback URL