My future husband

J: So, I have a date Sunday night.

Me: Oh yeah? What’s her name? Do I know this one?

J: Naw. She’s like some goth chick. But she’s 29.

Me: Well, that’s a step in the right direction, at least she’s not 21 like the last three.

J: Yeah, I know. Maybe she’ll be more interested in actually dating me instead of trying to get in my pants… She’s hot as fuck, though. Seriously, Jen. Wow.

Me: Uh, ok…

J: (making obscene gestures with a beer bottle)

Me: Ok, really, dude. Stop. I get it. She’s hot. You wanna bone her. Good luck turning that into a relationship.

J: Well, I’ll take what I can get.

Me: (eye roll)

J: So, how about you?

Me: Well, there’s this doctor that I work with that is making me want to wake up 20 min early and put make up on. He’s really cute. Sometimes I listen to him when they’re rounding and I think about how much I’d like to have his babies.

J: Ew, Jen! That’s gross! I don’t wanna hear that shit!

Me: Huh? What?

J: You’re my marry me when I’m 30 friend! That’s right around the corner! You’re my future wife and I will not listen to you talk about other men?

Me: Are you fucking serious? What the hell was this then? (makes obscene gestures with beer bottle)

J: That’s different.

Me: Why, because it’s you?

J: Yes. I am a social being. You are my future wife.

Me: Oh, I can see that this marriage is going to last forever. You better buy me a fucking rock of a ring.

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One Comment on "My future husband"

  1. jason
    30/09/2007 at 1:29 pm Permalink

    funny! but that guy should learn some manners. who makes gestures w/ beer bottles to a female friend?

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