updates Written on June 22, 2008, by Jen.
So, since it’s been so long, instead of writing long posts about the many things that have happened over the past month, I will just condense everything into list form:
1. Fro’s wedding. It was spectacular, I haven’t had that much fun in years. I danced with my baby bro Jerry almost all night and that kid can really tear up the dance floor, which is double fun since he’s 6′3″ and the only person who makes me feel small.
2. I lost a grand total of 19 pounds since I started posting the amount of my weight loss. 19 pounds. Today, I went through my “denim drawer” where I have the various stages of skinny jeans that I’ve fit into in my life and I am currently wearing a pair of jeans that haven’t fit me since 2002. I shit you not.
3. O… well, we maintained contact regularly for a few weeks. He emailed me the night before my brother’s wedding to tell me to “have fun, don’t be sad, don’t drink to much” and I really got annoyed. Then, everytime he talked to me he acted as if I was suicidal and he had to give me all this great life advice and just made me feel like he was being very condescending. I met a guy at the wedding and it didn’t go so well because I was still waiting for O to text me and he just broke up with his girlfriend of 6 years, so when we finally had the ‘let’s be friends, I’m still getting over my last relationship’ talk, I decided that I can’t communicate with O anymore. As long as I’m still waiting for him in one way or another or keeping the lines of communication open because I want him to grovel and tell me he was wrong to leave me, I will never move on. So, last Thursday night, he IMed me and I told him that I didn’t want to hear from him anymore. He asked me what changed, what was wrong, why I was shutting him out, blah blah blah. Then he gave me this “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you want and what I wanted to give” and I said “Stop. I don’t want to hear this anymore”. He kept saying “Yes, you do” as if he didn’t really believe that I was ready to sever all ties. So, I laid it out… I said “You are not the person I thought you were, we were never what I thought we were, and I mean nothing to you”. So he told me to email him when I get “bored” and I said there was no point and then he said this:
O: Are you going to keep whining on?
Me: No. Bye.
Then I signed off. And that was the last thing I said to him. I have to say, since I’ve stopped waiting for him to email or text or IM me, I’ve been a lot happier. I stopped waking up in the middle of the night because of my dreams about him, I quit crying, and I threw a lot of the things he gave me into a box and put it in my closet instead of holding it and crying myself to sleep. And I let a friend set me up on a blind date and I’m hitting it off pretty well with the new guy. No details until I know for sure what is going on, but I get happy when the newbie calls and texts and there’s not a feeling of dread anymore that I’m forcing myself to be interested. I think it might be genuine as there have been no inklings of a freak out or break down. There’s been nothing but laughs and smiles this week. And I think I finally finally have let O go enough to get on with my life.
4. My place is looking more like mine than Fro’s. Painting begins in July, but last night I rearranged some furniture and rehung some pictures and it at least looks like someone tried rather than just shoving a bunch of ugly shit into a room.
That’s all for now… Things are pretty good, and it’s summer, so I hope they will only get better. After my daylight shift tomorrow, I’m off until Friday so I plan on spending a lot of time cleaning and hanging out with my girls and maybe the newbie.
Things are looking up.
Read more from the Ramblings category. If you would like to leave a comment, click here: . or stay up to date with this post via RSS
Social Bookmark :
Technorati,
Digg,
de.licio.us,
Yahoo,
Blinkbits,
Blogmarks,
Google,
Magnolia.
Leave a Comment
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.